Tears of the Saints

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Who Are You and What Are You Doing?

One night there was an old Rabbi walking home from a long journey and he accidentally took the wrong way at the fork in the road. So instead of being on the road home he was headed towards a roman military fort. As he wondered aimlessly in the dark a guard spotted him and said, “Stop. Who are you and what are you doing here?” There was a long silence so again he said, “Who are you and what are you doing here?” Well in typical Rabbi fashion he answered with a question with a question and asked, “how many wages do you make in a day?” The Roman soldier thought it a weird question but answered, “I make 50 coins a day.” The Rabbi said, “I’ll double your salary if you’ll come to my home and ask me those same questions every day.”

Who are you? If you are a believer you are His. That is all you need. No one, nothing, can ever take you away from Him. He will never push you away. Even in the midst of our sin when the relationship may be broken, we are still His.
What are you doing? Are you fulfilling His purpose for you or your purpose for you?

WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

One Thing

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Following

After my trip to West Virginia I came back with some clear orders in my heart. In the past month I do not feel I have accomplished very much of them. Life just seems to get in the way. I am still in the process of trying to get the externals in order and setting some self-discipline into routine. I believe He is speaking to me and still guiding me. With all my heart I want to follow Him with everything I am. I want my life to be His and His alone. Following is much harder than I wish it was at times.
Father,
May everything about me be about You. I again lay my life at Your feet. Take it and do with me as You may.

A Song & A Question

I love to go and spend time in the prayer room at the International House of Prayer. I am purposing to do it even more in my life. The last time I was there the worship leader sang a song that really touched my heart. I don't know the title, but here are the words.

I want to give what's inside of my heart
I want to give what's inside of my heart to You

I know that You love me
I know that I love You
Therefore everything is okay
I'll open my heart for You

No reservations, no walls
Just an open door in my heart for You

I'm giving You everything this time
I lay me at Your feet
All my heart, all my soul,
all my strength is Yours


I have been talking to many friends lately and am hearing the same thing over and over. God is working. He is bringing about what seems to be the purpose for which they were created, at least part of it. He is not being subtle, but is filling them with a confidence, purpose, and strength to follow. The struggles they are encountering seem to only make them stronger and more confident. He is doing it in me too.

How about you?

The Labyrinth

Recently I went to West Virginia to visit a friend and take care of some things. While I was there she told me about a labyrinth. My first thought or picture was of a really big maze with high walls of bushes and grass. So I was a little surprised when it was a brick labyrinth that was relatively small. But wow what a huge impact it made on and in me.

At the beginning it gives you instructions on what to do before, during and after you follow the Labyrinth. I prayed before I entered and then continued as I followed the path. Many things came to me as I followed this path. It reminded me of life and even more so of my relationship with God.

There were many turns in the path. At times it seemed you were doing a total u-turn and going back to where you had just been. I can remember many of those times in my walk with God. They were times of questioning, doubt, hurt and even anger.

There were times in the path that it seemed I was back at the beginning. Have you ever felt like you were back at the beginning of your walk with God? Those times when you thought you had learned the lesson you were once again facing. Maybe feeling disappointed in yourself and knowing He had to be disappointed with you too. At those times is when I wanted to give up. I thought I would never learn and become what He wanted me to be.

Walking on the path there were also times I was so close to the destination that I could almost reach out and touch it. I love those points in my walk. Those are the times when my heart is truly in tune with Him and even if it was hard I could sense HIm close and see purpose in the pain. Those are times that I hear His voice clearly, see His hand moving, and dream of His purposes.

Then there were times on the path when I was so far away from the beginning and end that I thought I would never reach either end and wanted to just get off the path. One word comes to mind for that...desert. I hate desert times with God. It seems nothing is working. I can't hear Him, feel Him, see Him, and it is definitely hard to believe I am loving Him during those times. All that seems to be around me are the vultures waiting to pounce on my dead body.

But finally I made it to the end and stood in the middle of a huge circle. All around from the middle of this circle bricks radiated out like rays of light. When I looked up there was a waterfall in the window in front of me. On the outside pain of glass was a cross. For a brief moment I thought I was in Heaven. For all around me was the presence of the One who loved me with All that He is and wanting nothing back from me but for me to return that love.

Oh, that I would fully break open my heart and soul and lay them at His feet. That I would love Him with an extravagant love as He loves me. With all that I am. ALL my heart, ALL my soul, ALL my mind, ALL my strength, ALL of me.

Oh, Father. Help me in my weakness to give You all that I am.

The Labyrinth